homestuckfateeditionfandomcom-20200214-history
123115-Don't Let Me Go
teasingAsperity TA began trolling athanasyGerent AG at 23:34 -- TA: hi.... eribus..... AG: Lδrcαη, hey TA: are you doing okay?..... TA: or at least..... TA: a.... little better?..... AG: I'm dδiηg... I'm dδiηg better certαiηly TA: that....'s good..... TA: i was so worried..... AG: Lδrreα cαlmed me dδwη certαiηly... But.. TA: i was.... worried.... that you wouldn't.... talk to me again..... AG: Whαt? AG: Why... Why wδuld I ever ηδt tαlk tδ yδu αgαiη? TA: i broke my promise..... TA: i said i wouldn't die..... TA: and now here i am..... TA: dead..... TA: i thought you'd be mad at me..... AG: It.. It wαs yδur chδice, just... Just ηδt tδ die by Heliux's dδiηg... AG: I.. I cδuld ηever be mαd αt yδu TA: i wanted to be able.... to say goodbye at least..... TA: even if it wasn't forever......... AG: It wαs sδ suddeη AG: It wαs sδ terrible TA: it only hurt.... for a moment?..... TA: then i.... woke up here..... AG: ... TA: sorry..... TA: i didn't mean to bring that up..... TA: i.... know it's hard..... TA: everyone is so upset..... AG: Iη δηe swift secδηd... I lδst yδu, αηd it wαs terrible TA: i know..... TA: i....'m so sorry......... TA: if i could have spared you that i would have..... TA: you know that..... AG: I.. I kηδw... TA: i would have.... spared everyone that if i had known what that damned yellowblood was thinking..... AG: He.. He didη't kηδw whαt the fuck he wαs dδiηg... TA: so.... he tried it.... out on.... me?!..... TA: who gave him.... the right.... to try.... something like that on me?!..... TA: eribus i didn't want to die like that!..... AG: I.. I didη't kηδw whαt he wαs gδiηg tδ dδ! I... I wδuld hαve stδpped him hαve I kηδwη! TA: if i'm being honest, i.... didn....'t want to die at all!..... TA: i'm not blaming you..... TA: i.... only blame.... him.... for that..... AG: Everythiηg... Just, just spirαled δut δf hαηd TA: which is why i told.... serios that i.... approved of him hunting.... the.... lowblood down..... TA: if he had just.... let.... me make my.... choice then none of this would.... have.... happened..... TA: but.... no..... TA: the humans tried to put it to.... a vote!..... AG: I.. I kηδw, αηd it wαs stupid αηd wrδηg δf them... TA: if i had.... been in the mood to be angry...., i.... would have.... made.... them see.... what was what..... TA: and that they had no.... say in my life..... AG: I didη't wαηt yδu tδ cαll fδr yδur deαth... But.. But yδu were right, it wαs yδur chδice... Yδur chδice tδ mαke TA: eribus..... TA: just know that i didn't make my.... decision lightly..... TA: i looked at every angle i could..... TA: and all of them.... told me that.... it was.... the.... right thing to.... do..... AG: I kηδw... TA: i would never intentionally hurt you like that..... TA: i just..... TA: couldn't.... NOT try to prevent your death..... AG: I dδη't blαme yδu fδr yδur chδice... I just.. I just didη't wαηt tδ tαke it αs the truth, I didη't wαηt yδu tδ die TA: i don't want a future where you're not there..... AG: I dδη't wαηt α future withδut yδu either TA: i love you..... TA: very.... much..... TA: you are my.... future..... AG: I lδve yδu tδδ... Aηd I miss yδu, I miss yδur preseηce here with me TA: lorrea and.... serios are trying to fix that..... TA: i miss you too..... AG: I kηδw they αre... Aηd I αppreciαte their help iη the mαtter TA: for as.... many problems as lorrea and i.... had before the.... gala..... TA: she's been very helpful..... TA: since nyarla..... TA: well......... TA: i'm afraid of nyarla a little right now..... TA: i'm afraid of what he's.... going to do without me there..... AG: Whαt cδuld he dδ? TA: it took a long time.... for me to get him to.... calm down..... TA: from seeing serios covered in..... TA: well...... TA: purple......... TA: he's still very.... angry..... TA: he.... didn't trust me and i.... didn't want to.... trust him with you..... AG: He tδδk me bαck tδ Aαishα tδ help me δut I guess... He didη't seem tδδ mαd wheη he fδuηd me TA: i had already talked him.... down at that point..... TA: and asked him.... to help you..... TA: but he was so angry when i started talking to.... him......... TA: he was so angry.... at everyone..... AG: Yδu ηeed tδ help cαlm him theη AG: If Nyαrlα is suppδsed tδ kill me iη the future... AG: Best tδ try αηd αvδid thαt TA: but we don't know what happens.... in that future that would lead him to kill you..... TA: bothwell didn't.... say......... AG: Nδ... Aηd we hαveη't α clue αs well TA: i don't think he wanted.... to hurt me any more than he already had..... TA: but i'm not going to lie..... TA: i want you to hold me and.... tell.... me everything is okay..... AG: I wαηt tδ be αble tδ hδld yδu αgαiη... AG: I wαηt tδ be there fδr yδu AG: But everythiηg will be δkαy, I cαη αssure yδu thαt TA: i.... want.... to cry and scream and rage and i can't......... TA: there's no.... one here but me..... TA: at least.... for now..... TA: there's no one.... here to.... hold me..... AG: dδη't tαlk like thαt, its δηly tempδrαry TA: i'm so lonely eribus..... AG: I... I kηδw.. TA: i was used to it before i met you......... TA: i was.... okay with.... being alone..... TA: but now?..... TA: i crave.... company..... AG: I'm.. I'm sδrry TA: it's.... not your fault..... AG: Its becαuse δf me... Becαuse δf me thαt I αm hurtiηg yδu sδ bαd TA: it's heliux....'s..... TA: you?..... TA: you couldn't.... hurt me..... TA: you WOULDN'T hurt.... me..... AG: But... But I did TA: no no no no no..... AG: Its becαuse δf me thαt yδu αre hurtiηg sδ much... TA: eribus no..... TA: please..... AG: I.. I lδve yδu, but I wδηder if it wαs wrδηg fδr me tδ gδ flush with yδu, its δηly cαusiηg dαmαge... Pαiη αηd sufferiηg AG: Lδrcαη... I'm sδrry, sδrry fδr cαusiηg sδ much pαiη... TA: eribus no......... TA: don't..... TA: don't do.... this ..... TA: it's not because.... of you..... TA: it would never because of.... you..... TA: (( would never be* )) AG: Yδu kηδw its true... I'm just α prδblem fδr yδu, I cαη't keep yδu sαfe αηd hαppy withδut cαusiηg pαiη TA: eribus please..... TA: you can never be a problem.... for me......... TA: you are the best thing that's ever happened to me..... TA: seeing you at the gala..... TA: in that.... vest..... TA: all i want in.... this.... stupid game.... is you..... AG: I'm.. I'm sδrry Lδrcαη... I'm ruiηiηg yδu, its... Its ηδt sαfe TA: no.... please..... TA: eribus please don't..... TA: don....'t leave.... me..... TA: you're not ruining me..... TA: you're making me better..... AG: I... I dδη't wαηt tδ leαve yδu AG: But I dδη't wαηt tδ hurt yδu αηy mδre TA: you're not hurting.... me!..... TA: please don't..... AG: Yδu died becαuse yδu didη't wαηt tδ see me die fδr the future... Its becαuse δf me yδu died hδw it hαppeηed TA: heliux made that choice!..... TA: bothwell even said that it would have been painless!..... TA: eribus please don't do this..... TA: not now......... AG: Aηd yδu mαde the chδice tδ sαcrifice yδurself becαuse δf me... Becαuse δf me αηd everyδηe else TA: i didn't.... want.... a future where.... you.... weren....'t there.... for.... me!..... TA: i wanted.... a future.... where.... we could be together..... TA: so that ..... TA: i could.... be happy!..... AG: There might ηδt eveη be α future where I αm still there... AG: It might αll eηd, it mαy ηδt... But... TA: there.... will be!..... TA: i'm going.... to make sure of.... it!..... AG: I cαη't let yδu dδ thαt TA: eribus.... please let me..... AG: I cαη't let yδu put yδurself δη edge becαuse δf me TA: i can....'t do much ..... TA: but please at least let me do.... this..... AG: If it meαηs I get tδ see yδu live... I.. I cαη't let yδu sαcrifice yδurself like yδu did AG: ... TA: finish crumbs are my thing love..... TA: but please eribus......... TA: i want a future with you..... TA: i NEED.... a future with you......... TA: this can't..... TA: this can't be happening..... TA: no..... AG: Lδrcαη, there's δηly α future thαt I cαη see where yδu live, but I dδη't thiηk I fit there TA: you don't know.... that..... AG: I wαηt yδu hαppy... I dδη't wαηt yδu tδ die δη me αgαiη TA: none of us know that..... TA: i.... died to prevent your.... death..... TA: so we could have a.... future together..... TA: i..... TA: i can't be happy.... without you..... TA: no one else makes me smile like you do..... AG: A future fδr yδu Lδrcαη AG: A future where I ηeed tδ mαke sure yδu live, I cαη't be the δηe tδ hαve yδu sαcrifice yδurself TA: i....'m.... not going to sacrifice.... myself.... again......... TA: there's nothing..... TA: NOTHING..... TA: that anyone could do..... TA: to take you.... from me..... TA: i'm not letting them..... AG: Lδrcαη... I dδη't kηδw hδw I cαη keep yδu hαppy αηd αlive αt the sαme time AG: I just... TA: keep me with you and i....'ll be fine..... AG: I cαη't... TA: don't.... do.... this eribus..... TA: please..... TA: i'm better when i'm with you..... TA: so much.... better..... AG: Lδrcαη, its... Its prδbαbly fδr the best... Just... I just.. I... TA: it's not for the.... best!..... TA: in what universe is this for the best?!..... AG: I.. AG: I dδη't kηδw TA: are you going.... to prove him right?!..... AG: prδve whδ right? TA: mike!..... TA: are you.... going to prove him right?!..... AG: Nδ.. I.. AG: I just TA: don't prove him right..... TA: please..... TA: i don't want him to be right about us..... AG: I dδη't wαηt yδu tδ die αgαiη, I wαηt tδ mαke sure if either δf us live... Thαt it will be yδu TA: eribus please..... TA: i died to prevent this from.... happening......... TA: i did this so none of us.... would have to have that haunted look......... TA: i did this so we.... could.... all be HAPPY..... AG: Yδu died becαuse yδu lδved me... Yδu wδuld ηever hαve died if this... If we... TA: i would have done this for anyone......... TA: i did this.... for EVERYONE..... TA: i did.... this so those screams..... TA: will never.... happen..... AG: I... I kηδw.. I kηδw its just I dδη't wαηt tδ see it αgαiη TA: then don't do this......... AG: I dδη't wαηt tδ be there if it hαppeηs AG: I dδη't wαηt tδ be the cαuse TA: if it happens the way bothwell says it did..... TA: then you.... won't.... be..... TA: which is why i tried to prevent.... it......... TA: so.... that the future could be happier than what.... bothwell had..... AG: Mαybe me ηδt beiηg α pαrt δf yδur future is whαt mαkes it αll hαppier αs well TA: you not being.... there wouldn....'t make any of us happy..... TA: nyarla kills you in that.... future..... TA: that's not a future that i want to.... come to pass..... AG: Neither dδ I TA: then please..... TA: stay with me......... TA: i won't be happy without you..... AG: I... I dδη't kηδw if I wδuld be hαppy withδut yδu either TA: then why are you doing.... this....?..... TA: i KNOW i won't be happy without you..... AG: I'm... I'm.. Cδηfused... I'm cδηfused αηd I'm sδrry fδr mαkiηg yδu wδrry AG: I just... I just miss yδu TA: i miss you too..... TA: we'll be together again.... soon..... TA: lorrea and serios won....'t go back on their word..... TA: no matter how.... much he hates.... me......... AG: Sδδη is ηδt clδse eηδugh, it.. It hurts TA: serios won't go back on.... his word......... TA: i know it hurts..... TA: i'll make it better as.... soon as.... i can..... AG: I miss yδu Lδrcαη, αηd I cαη't... I'm ηδt thiηkiηg level withδut yδu AG: I just dδη't wαηt tδ cαuse yδu pαiη TA: eribus please..... TA: i'm.... okay..... TA: i.... worry about you because i love you..... TA: i'm sorry for making YOU worry......... TA: i'm sorry for hurting.... you.... like i have..... TA: i never want to.... hurt.... you..... TA: ever..... AG: I'm δηly hurtiηg myself Lδrcαη AG: I'm hurtiηg myself becαuse δf my feαrs AG: my dδubts.... TA: what do you doubt?..... TA: your love for.... me?..... TA: my love for you?..... TA: i want to help..... TA: let me?..... AG: ... AG: Yes AG: Yes, pleαse..l AG: I just hαd dδubts if... If me lδviηg yδu wαs right... Aηd its.. Its α dumb thδught, it shδuld ηever hαve crδssed my miηd TA: it....'s not a dumb thought..... TA: nothing.... you.... think is dumb..... TA: i trust that you love.... me which is why you're hurting as bad.... as you are..... AG: I... Yeαh.. TA: loving you is the most natural, serendipitous thing i've ever felt..... TA: i.... spent hours trying to find the perfect gift for you.... for.... 12th perigee's eve just so i wouldn't look like i.... had.... something..... TA: because i came into this.... game.... with nothing..... AG: Yδu didη't hαve tδ get me αηythiηg eveη... I.. Just yδu cδmiηg αηd lδδkiηg αs beαutiful αs yδu did wαs eηδugh fδr me AG: Aηd I feel sδ much better with yδu... Sαfer, I feel... I feel sαfe αηd thαt everythiηg is right... TA: i told.... you on our first day together.... that i felt safe.... in your arms..... TA: remember....?..... AG: Y... Yes TA: i.... fell.... asleep..... AG: Yδu were sδ beαutiful sleepiηg there TA: i was content..... AG: I'm sδrry fδr ever dδubtiηg αηythiηg TA: it's natural?..... TA: i'm here to remind you that i love you..... TA: i told you that after you talked.... to mike.... the first time..... AG: I.. I kηδw TA: <3..... AG: <3 AG: Yδu cδmiηg iηtδ my life... It wαs sδmethiηg I cδuld lδδk fδrwαrd tδ TA: i'll be back.... soon enough..... AG: Pleαse... I ηeed yδu bαck fδr me... Fδr the bδth δf us TA: i....'ll kiss you so you.... know.... i'm.... back for real..... AG: I.. I lδδk fδrwαrd tδ seeiηg yδu bαck αηd well Lδrcαη... AG: Uηtil theη... I'll... I'll wαit fδr yδu TA: i'll run.... right into.... those metal arms of yours......... TA: i need you to hold me..... AG: I still wish I hαd ηδt lδst my αrms sδ I cδuld embrαce yδu αηd feel it AG: Thαt is the δηe regret I hαve TA: one day eribus..... TA: it'll all.... be different..... AG: I've beeη leαd tδ believe thαt... Aηd I hδpe sδ.. I wαηt tδ be αble tδ hug yδu, αηd be αble tδ reαlly feel it... Tδ feel yδu iη my αrms αηd kηδw yδu αre there... TA: i..... TA: i'm always here for you......... TA: with you..... AG: I αppreciαte thαt... Thαt's.. Thαt's why I lδve yδu TA: it'll take a lot.... more than death.... to stop me from.... loving you..... AG: <3 TA: <3!..... AG: I will dδ everythiηg iη my pδwer tδ keep yδu frδm... Frδm puttiηg yδurself αt risk.. But... I wδη't jeδpαrdize my life if I cαη... AG: I wαηt us tδ stαy tδgether, tδ be tδgether tδ the eηd... TA: i won't put myself at risk like.... that again..... TA: i want to be with you forever..... AG: I wαηt tδ αs well TA: i love you eribus..... AG: I lδve yδu tδδ Lδrcαη AG: I.. I will stαy strδηg here fδr yδu... I wδη't dδ αηythiηg stupid here TA: thank.... you......... TA: get some rest....?..... AG: I will... I plαη δη gettiηg α lδt δf rest tδ heαl up... Nδ mδre tαkiηg bullets fδr α while.. AG: I guess I'll see yδu wheη I dδ theη... Just.. Sδδη cαηηδt cδme quick eηδugh, but I will wαit if it meαηs seeiηg yδu AG: I'll... I'll tαlk tδ yδu lαter Lδrcαη.. TA: i.... want to.... be able.... to hug you without hurting you, silly..... AG: heh TA: talk to you later my.... love..... -- athanasyGerent AG gave up trolling teasingAsperity TA at 01:22 -- Category:Eribus Category:Lorcan